Settled...

Hello again, I haven't written anything of depth lately here. The poems I posted yesterday were originally posted to my other blog. As past posts show, I had been thinking about what to do with this blog. For a while I had been posting more on my MySpace page, but I still like the fact that this is a more private means of posting thoughts. The audiences for each page are totally different, so both have their place.

But onto more important things...Two nights ago a much need conversation was had. My ex-fiance called and apologized. His words were healing to my soul. In part I cried because I wasn't expecting to hear from him let alone get an apology and it was also because a huge weight had been lifted off of my heart. It was as if the man I had known and loved for so many years was back. My friend was back talking to me without walls or coldness. It was nice...

And it's not that I have built up expectations for communication between us or expectations as to where things are going to go. I'm just happy we're talking again :)

Poem: By the Fire

If you were to stumble here
Get past the walls and into the circle
You would quickly see how
I've guarded my everything
Sheltered my heart so you could
Camp out by the fire and stay warm
Listen to some stories and sip some cocoa
As I run my fingers through your hair
And you lay your head upon my chest
You would know how many times I've said no
When temptation has said yes
No words would be needed, you'd just know
Lay under the stars with me
Be my equal in intimacy and intellect
And know how I've wanted and I've waited
Saved my "I do" just for you
Without knowing your name, the sound of your voice, or having seen your face
I have felt you through the years
Known your embrace when I'm alone
Known who you'd be when we met
And I came here with words for you
Without knowing who you are
And when you stumble here, upon me
Know that I can't wait to sit by the fire with you...

Poem: In the City Hum

Amidst this bustle of people
Can I find my way
Survival of the fittest doesn't hold much stock
And what you say steers just every little action
Make my words beautiful like you
A truer reflection of the time you've taken
Bring me back to my home
Where each part of the world touches
Each dialect lingers in the air
Colors clashing leaving me in awe
And all is highlighted by a low city hum
There's much more that I can't see now
But I can feel your heart and sense your beauty in the beggars and crack whores
I want to hold the kids who know little of love
Record the stories of old before living history passes on
Continue to guide my way home
Amidst this current bustle of people

Poem: Your Answer

Pages are turning
Voices resonating and recognized
He said I was like the Beatles
He knew me as his Venus d'Milo
To him I was the mastery of Botticelli
All these words are nice
Admiration, adoration, a living work of art
They have touched my soul and my heart
The heart of a woman needs affirmation...
But what do You think?
What is it that You see?
It is Your answer that matters more than anything

Addictions and Power

Some people are addicted to drugs, sex, themselves, and among other things power. Well I have to come out of the closet about this everyone. I'm sorry if "coming out of the closet" is a term that makes you a little uncomfortable. No, I'm not gay, but I have an addiction...writing. But that's not the main point of this post. I'd like to bring your attention to the addiction to power most especially male power, pervasive misogyny. Please do not think that this will turn into a man bashing post. I truly love men and am against most of what seeks to emasculate men. I merely seek to unveil a little realm of experience that I know is common.

Earlier this morning as I was on my shuttle heading towards my oh so lovely university, I was reading an article for a class. And for those country folk out there, we in the city parts tend to read as we commute. We should talk more to each other, I know. But I digress, as I move forward to my point. Misogyny. Rarely do I cry when reading anything for a course, but this article, "Confessions of a Recovering Misogynist" as written by Kevin Powell, struck a chord very deep within me. I have been deeply affected by one, gravely affected by one. Powell, after recounting his encounter with a fellow female peer at Rutgers University and his pulling out a knife states, "My intent was to scare her into submission." It is this notion that makes me shudder. Scaring a woman into submission...

Please read the article and think. I'd love to talk about the article here if you're up for it.

P.S. Don't know why the link is not working. I've tried a few different ways to get it working here, but google it and it's the first thing that comes up.