Poem: More Wild

So for today
I take a space to breathe
Rolled up in paint
Sprawled over a canvas
Painting love more extravagant
Than the common could accept
They won't understand
It's okay...

An Oddly Beautiful Gift

Concerning the issue of writing, I realize that this blog has been part of my inner struggles with a gift. Years ago I had a dream where a woman was going about her job and was presented a gift that looked oddly beautiful and unlike anything ever seen before. My father was the one who presented it to her and I was standing by his side. The woman looked at it and politely said, "Thanks." It was a random act of kindness and my father was happy to do it. As he stepped away, she just gave the gift a strage look, not rudely or disrespectfully, but she just didn't understand what he had just done. He looked a little disappointed and sad because she didn't "get it." And then I woke up.

After thinking about it and how a few times I've had dreams where my father has done something and I've been standing by his side; I thought that there had to be something more to the dream. Now believe me, I'm not one of those weird people that thinks there's a meaning behind every dream. But I do believe there's meaning behind some of them - the more vivid ones. I think everyone believes that to some degree or another.

Well, I think the woman who didn't understand the gift was actually representative of me, the woman I am now and have grown into being. The gift is a culmination of things I think I'm supposed to come into - things that I've been naturally gifted with that most people don't understand. Even I am still trying to understand those things. They're strange and different, but good and beautiful nonetheless. And part of that gift is writing, I've treated it wrecklessly and carelessly at times. I've been lazy with it and haven't taken it seriously at times. Accademic writing made me hate it for a period of time due to it's monotony. And at times, I've just plain ignored it. But it is a large part of who I am regardless of whether I'm writing privately of publically. It is a passion and a love that I cannot avoid though I don't know how to let it out at times.

I guess that's part of the odd beauty of all this. Just like you, I am still trying to understand and get a handle on this thing called writing. I am still figuring out who I am, so my personal and creative writing changes with that. And even more than writing, I'm still figuring out how to function and understand the total sum of that oddly beautiful gift...

Sorting Out Sorts...

So days run together everywhere, no matter where you go. I've been back in PA since the 20th of Feb., sixteen days to be exact since I left VA, and things have been up and down. It's not easy picking yourself up after plotting out a course for 7 months and finding that it doesn't work or doesn't work for you. Even still, it's nerve racking and saddening.

The same things that went in with you follow you when you leave. And I would have been wise to agree with my mother when she said, "Wherever your life is, there you are." But like the stubborn woman I am, it takes a while for things to sink in or accept the things that people tell me that I have a hard time swallowing.

Life has been a hard pill to swallow and almost none of it makes sense anymore and hasn't for quite some time...

Poem: From Him

The following poem is one I wrote for my best friend Emilie and her husband Daniel's wedding.

From Him

Searching high and low
From the dirt of Mozambique to Eiffel tower of Paris
From the day you first entered your mothers' womb to the day you depart
I have thought of you
I have known your heart, mind, and soul
For it is I that have called you to be one...
Infinite and inseparable
Wealth nor poverty shall divide
Joy nor grief shall break beyond repair
In heart I have known you
In Spirit I have called you
Go forth from this day...
One heart, one mind, and one body
For in Me and only Me
Are you entirely one...

"Suavie Island" by Kickball

My thoughts of recent easily parallel the lyrics to this song by Kickball. Click here to listen...

"Suavie Island"

I'm gonna spend my summer picking cherries on Sauvie Island
And when the season's done, I'll move on to plums.
And when the plums are done, the peaches have begun.
I'm gonna spend my summer picking peaches on Sauvie Island.

I wish it was true.
Wish wish wish come true.

But we are different animals, there's nothing we can do.
But I'm a bear, too.
I'm a bear, too.

I wish it was true
Wish wish wish come true
but i know that its fantasy, and I wont follow through
I won't follow through, I wont follow through
I wont, follow through, I know that its fantasy
and I...wont...follow...through.

Huckleberry Eater, I see you.
Don't acknowledge me
and when i need to, I'll reveal you.